COUPLES AND FAMILY COUNSELING

Premarital/Pre-engagement

Many couples go into marriage without the most basic preparation for the journey ahead. However, almost all couples think they are prepared.

Marriage has a specific purpose and operates within specific perameters. It is my assertion that most marriages fail due to this basic failure to understand and implement accordingly. Using a biblically based model, couples can unearth their own basic assumptions and come to a mutual understanding along with their potential spouse. 

While marriage operates best within certain perameters, many different expressions of marriage can flourish. It is essential to help couples determine if they desire similar expressions as well as what to do when significant diffferences arise.

Marital

Marital counseling is a delicate maneuvering of a relationship from an undesired state to a desired state. Sounds simple enough. But how a couple gets to this desired place and what this desired place will look like is not so simple.

 

Ideally, the couple would agree upon common goals and set a plan in place to work together toward these goals. Ironically, the couple is likely in counseling because they have not been able to find mutually satisfying common goals and their “team work” is riddled with dissention. One or both partners find themselves feeling powerless to change the situation in a positive way.

 

For this reason, it is necessary to make some adjustments. Involving a counselor can help provide accountability and structure that enables the process to flourish.

Family

Families are complicated by nature. Each individual is unique and each relationship within the family makes the system more complex. Family counseling is about addressing the entire family and how each member plays a part in its functioning.

Progress in the family can be exponential as each member contributes. However, most families have individuals that are seen as unwilling, uncooperative or unable to make positive change. Family counseling can help each member add to the family's positive change while minimizing the effect of negative events.

Families are complicated by nature. Each individual is unique and each relationship within the family makes the system more complex. Family counseling is about addressing the entire family and how each member plays a part in its functioning.

Progress in the family can be exponential as each member contributes. However, most families have individuals that are seen as unwilling, uncooperative or unable to make positive change. Family counseling can help each member add to the family's positive change while minimizing the effect of negative events.

Co-parenting

After a divorce or separation, the entire family system must enter into a transition that, if successful, leads to a new normal. However, the shift that must take place is no small undertaking and many coparents struggle for a variety of reasons:

  • Perhaps your kids are consistently comparing your parenting to your coparent’s. You have always had to deal with the judgment of outsiders but now you must deal with additional judgment from your coparent and your own kids. This judgment is weightier because these are people whose opinions matter (or used to matter) to you.

  • You are probably questioning yourself… Was the divorce your fault? Could you have done something different? Why did you even pick this person to begin with?

  • Then, the questions turn into judgments about yourself… What does your divorce say about your ability to be in a relationship? What does is say about you as a person?

  • You might be in family court or dealing with the aftermath of it. Such experiences usually result in constant defense mode. If you admit any faults, then you might suffer in court or might open yourself up to criticism from your coparent.

  • And, oh yeah, raising kids was hard to begin with! You are still raising kids but are now the sole decision maker for your household.

Employing a counselor to assist with navigating co-parenting issues can provide the knolwedge and support you need to make sure you navigate this transition in a thorough and timely fashion, allowing you to move forward with confidence.

(See groups page for Level III coparenting group description)

Address

©2018 By Breakthrough Counseling

5373 North Union Boulevard, Ste 103
Colorado Springs, CO 80918

Contact

719.357.9088